Okay – we’re getting down to the wire now. This is Monday and I need to have $30,000. in the bank by Wednesday, with another $10,000. ready for closing costs on the 26th. and I have no idea where any of that is coming from.
Someone asked me yesterday if I have a plan “B” ready just in case. After all, The moving trucks are coming on the 28th of this month!
No – there is no plan “B.” I set my course about a month and a half ago when, after being advised by my landlord that he needed my space and then discovering that no suitable place was going to allow me to keep my dog, I began to sense that perhaps God wanted me to buy, not rent, my next home. Despite the fact that I’ve enjoyed just renting for the first time since university days, I contacted a realtor and set about trying to find a place to buy, with full knowledge that I didn’t have a down payment, but trusting that if God wanted me to buy, He would supply my need. My realtor is a Christian and has full knowledge of my situation. She is trusting God with me.
Am I being presumptuous, expecting God to jump just because I tell Him I have a need? Am I “reaching too high” as suggested by a concerned friend? Do I think I can just snap my fingers and see God jump? Am I putting myself in a precarious position? Am I putting God in a precarious position? Am I being fool hardy? Reckless? Ridiculous?
These are all questions asked not only by some friends, but by me in quiet moments of reflection as temporal realities and dimensions of the Spirit collide.
What would a plan “B” look like? It would have to be a rental large enough to accommodate my needs and welcome my dog. I am not going to lose Lola. She is my family now. I have lost enough family. I’m not losing more and I don’t believe God is requiring that of me. While I hunted for an apartment at first, there’s no point right now because, even if I were to find one, I wouldn’t put a deposit on it until after Wednesday – and if I can’t put a deposit on something, it will be gone and my time will have been wasted.
So – no. There’s no plan “B” and I don’t believe I’m going to need one. I have peace.
What will happen if midnight Wednesday comes and nothing has changed? Will I go off the deep end? Will I be embarrassed? Will I lose faith?
If midnight Wednesday comes and there has been no change, I shall look around the corner of life – in the Spirit – and find what God wants me to do next. He is leading me. I can’t see clearly into His realm to see exactly what He is doing, but He is there and He is the only thing I have in life that is sure.
Last night at church, the pastor asked if there was anyone who would like to give their life to Jesus – to be transformed by allowing Him to be part of their life. I turned around to a row of young people behind me and asked if any of them would like to go to the front to accept Jesus. I looked deeply into the beautiful brown eyes of one young woman and said, “You will never know your full purpose in life without Jesus and He will change your life. He loves you more than you will ever be able to understand. I will go to the front with you if you want to receive Him.” Holding hands, we went to the front and her life was changed. She would never be alone again.
I would never have been able to look into that young woman’s eyes and communicate faith to her if I had not learned to trust God over these past 32 years of knowing Him and seeing His faithfulness. Why would I doubt Him now?