Miracles by Design

I booked the movers today. Even though I haven’t got a clue where I’m moving to, I thought it might be a good idea to at least make sure I have help to get there!

My friend Jane and I went to look at another possible rental – another dead end.

Then my other best friend, Jane-Anne, called me over to her house on another matter. While there, I asked her to pray for my situation. As we prayed, she felt a strong assurance that the Lord was saying, “It will be granted.”

Both Jane and Jane-Anne walk very closely with the Lord. They know Him and they hear His voice. We have had some astounding answers to prayer together. For example, it was after one of our prayer times when we had been praying for work for me that I came home and found a message on my answering machine from Karen Stowell, then the managing editor of the Crossroads Compass. She was calling to ask if I would be interested in the position of graphic designer for the Crossroads Compass! It was a direct answer to our prayers. Another miracle. That was over two years ago, during which time I have designed 26 issues of the Compass!

Jane-Anne and I drove out to “my” house last week and prayed for God’s provision. Two days prior to that, my realtor and I had stood in the kitchen, joined hands and prayed that God would make a way. As Jane-Anne and I sat in the car and discussed possibilities two days later, I commented that it would be so nice to be able to open the front door and the back door and let the fresh air blow through. She looked shocked and said, “Just before you said that, I heard God say, ‘Let the wind blow!'”

Truthfully, today has been a tough day. Sometimes it’s difficult to hold on for a miracle. I found myself getting a bit down today. As I analyzed the source of my depression, I realized that I had opened the doors for Satan to get to me in a time of weakness. For instance, yesterday, I took offense to a comment made by a dear friend. So – the offense freely rumbled around in my mind, causing unrest and negativity. There were about three such situations where I could see that it was my negative responses to life that formed the foundation for my depression.

So – I turned my back on the nasties and started to sing praises to God in hopes of dispelling the darkness. As I walked down the lane singing, my friend Jane drove in towards me, put her window down and laughed, “Are you going senile talking to yourself – or are you singing???” I ended up taking a drive to the mall with her and her daughter and her daughter’s little friend, both of whom kept us laughing and chatting away the gloomies. Now I’m home, feeling great and ready to face tomorrow – just 47 days away from my move.

I have received a few interesting responses to my blog. One reads:

“Still praying and believing that the Lord will wonderfully provide ‘that dream house by the Lake’ for you.  Are you not reaching a bit too far …God provides needs not wants or desires!”

I think this fellow has gotten it in his mind that I’m looking at a luxurious lakefront property with a Country Homes and Gardens mansion on it.

Quite the contrary. This is a little two-bedroom house, modest and functional which happens to be on the lake – but in an area that has not been popular for real estate, so it is very economical. I have to admit that the hackles rose on my neck a bit because I have worked very, very hard, particularly over the past few years of trying to get reestablished and I do believe that God does provide the desires of our hearts – as long as they are not greedy and are in line with His desires for us. This is not a situation where I have suddenly decided that I want to upgrade my circumstances. The Lord knows that I would have been happy to rent exactly where I am for the rest of my life. I’m happy here. However, that’s not possible. My landlord needs my space by July 29th and so I have to move. No choice. However, I can’t find a suitable place to rent and so am exploring the possibility of purchasing. What would be wrong with God giving me a place on the water? He knows how I yearn for the water after all of my years of being raised beside it. He knows how I would love to have a happy place for my family to gather together once again. He also knows that I would be delighted to live in a hut in the desert if His presence was with me!

My response to my friend was:

“The Lord knows whether this is a need or a want and He will give me what He deems appropriate, suitable and functional. He knows how I am scouring the market and the fact that this is actually a very economical property – just 40 feet wide and 70 feet deep. It’s not very big. My God is not stingy and neither am I. I give all I can give to Him and He does the same for me. God is a good God.”

It occurred to me yesterday that a great way to raise funds for my down payment would be to run a sale. With that in mind, I sent out the following e-mail:

To my clients…
Here’s a great (and rare) opportunity to save!
Any new projects booked and prepaid prior to June 25th are eligible to receive a 5 percent discount and avoid the new tax on services including:

Graphic Design
Editing
Writing
Self-Publishing

Please don’t hesitate to request a no-obligation quotation!
Sincere regards,
Diane

Now – just suppose that the funds come rushing in and I am able to put an offer on “my” house, does that mean that I fixed the situation and no longer need a miracle?

Absolutely not. I believe that all good things come from God and it is He who gives us the ideas, the imagination, the energy and the ability to see our dreams become reality. It is He who would put it in the hearts and minds of potential clients to use my services. Scripture says that angels are ministering servants, sent to assist God’s children. I believe that when we pray, God dispatches His angels to help us with our daily affairs and the intricacies of our lives.

Hmmm… 49 days! It’s going to be fun to see how God works this one out!! 🙂

OK – So now it’s 50 days before I have to move – with no definite place to go. Just to bring newcomers up to speed, my landlord is getting married and inheriting four new heirs and so needs my space for making new bedrooms. There is very little to rent in this area and whatever there is is either too small or too pricey. Nobody wants pets – and of course I’m going nowhere without my little Lolapalooza!

I’ve now opened the door to the possibility of becoming a homeowner again – despite the fact that (having had to start life all over again) I do not have a down payment. However, in my business, things can change in a heartbeat with a couple of good book contracts – or in whatever way God wants to look after me. With that in mind, I’ve found a house and am now just awaiting the miracle that will allow me to purchase it!

Meanwhile, I’m not sitting on my thumbs. I’m still looking at possible rentals. Yesterday’s possibility of a farmhouse is a wash. It won’t be ready until the end of August (I have to be out by the 29th of July) and they don’t want pets. A farmhouse would have been much too expensive to heat anyway and I’m sure there would have been a lot of grass to cut and snow to shovel. The little house I’ve found to buy, on the other hand, is just seven years old, maintenance free and on a small lot.

On Sunday, my pastor (Doug Schneider) taught us all a new word: “Limenality.” A “limen” is a threshold. Limenality refers to the ability to step over a threshold, to go beyond normal boundaries. The state of limenality suggests a feeling of lostness and instability where one has a sense of losing one’s identity. It’s an in-between state, a place of uncertainty, a place of ambiguity.

I think my pastor has been reading my mail!

He referred us to 2nd Corinthians which speaks of going “from glory to glory” with that “to” being an indicator of a time of disorientation. It’s in that time – between glorys – where God teaches us things. There is no way to progress or experience promotion in life without passing through a state of limenality where the disciplining hand of God leads us.

So – here I am in the land of linenality! Yahoo! At least now I have the security of knowing that my insecurity has a label; it is serving a purpose and there is an end in sight! This is just a rite of passage for promotion!

After Peter’s denial of Jesus, he entered into a state of limenality. He was neither here nor there – neither a declared supporter of the Messiah nor (what he used to be) a humble fisherman. Without Jesus and feeling like a total failure after loosing his identity as a disciple, he tried to go back to fishing – but couldn’t even do that anymore. It wasn’t until Jesus came along and gave him new direction that he was once more able to experience success. When Peter was obedient to Christ and threw his net on the other side of the boat (something he hadn’t orchestrated), he discovered something new and different!

When one is in a state of limenality, a state of waiting to step over a new threshhold, there is no guarantee of success, no guarantee that one can reach the next place of security – but neither can one go back.

Peter couldn’t go back to fishing the same way he had always done and I can’t go back to a sense of security where I am. I have to move ahead and I don’t know where. Peter’s limenality took him from the work of ministering to the Jews on to the work of ministering to both Jews and Gentiles. His territory was expanded as he worked with Jesus to step over the new threshhold.

So – Jesus – here I am in this state of limenality. Please lead me on. We have only 50 days max!

Fifty-one days to go before I have to move – and no miracle yet in sight to enable me to secure the purchase of a home.

I called the newspaper to see if I could get a jump on the rental ads, but the girl in advertising is looking for the same kind of apartment that I need – so – fat chance there. Yesterday I heard of a girl who is moving out of a farmnouse on the Island that I might be able to rent – but even if it has enough space and they’ll take a dog, the utilities will be high and there will no doubt be a lot of grass to cut and snow to shovel.

So – I’ll go and look, but am going to hang on for my miracle – $40,000. down payment and closing costs on the perfect little house on the little lot on the lake. 🙂

I think it was Paul Yonggi Cho who first spoke of being “pregnant with a miracle.” He needed a bicycle to be able to pastor his church in China. So he trusted God to supply him with a bicycle – so much so that he told every one that he was “pregnant with a bicycle!” Sure enough, God delivered the bicycle in a way that left no room for doubt that it was, indeed, a miracle!

But Paul Yonggi Cho is a man. What does he know about pregnancy except how to get that way and the fact that everybody rejoices at the time of birth? But I’m a woman, and I’ll tell you that there’s a whole lot that happens between the planting of faith for a miracle and the day of delivery! There’s concern about whether everything will deliver the way you hope, impatience for the day to arrive, depression because you can’t go ahead and do the things you dream of doing until the baby arrives, worry about what others will say if your baby isn’t as wonderful as you tell them it is going to be, concern for the proper development of the child, frustration that you can’t see what’s going on inside and hope for happy days ahead. Some days you’re full of zest and energy, working towards the fulfillment of the delivery and some days you just feel like crap.

But then! When that baby is born, no one can understand the reality of the miracle of birth more than a mother. It’s overwhelming to see how God has formed ten perfect little toes, perfect little rosebud lips and eyes that see all the way into the heart brimming with love.

So – yes. I’m pregnant with a miracle. I KNOW that God is at work, knitting circumstances together that I can’t see. But I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl – a rental or a purchase. I hope it’s a purchase because I don’t want to live subject to the whims of a landlord whose circumstances may change, requiring me to load up my life and move again. I want stability again  – a place I can put down some roots – a place my grandchildren will know as “Grandma’s house.” I want a place where I can gather my family around me once more in a place we can call “home.” I’m tired of flushing rent money down the drain when it could be building security for the days ahead.

I’m glad that I don’t have to wait another nine months for this delivery! Just 51 days, max. Hopefully, it will even be premature!

It occurred to me this morning that we tell about miracles God performs in our lives after they happen – but people don’t get to see the process of the unfolding of the miracle. Sometimes God acts suddenly in our lives with spontaneous miracles – but most often there’s a process of believing Him for a serious need and then watching Him respond, step by step, as He knits the necessary circumstances together.

Right now, I need a miracle.

Four years ago, I had to sell my beautiful home of 28 years due to a huge upheaval in our family.
Suddenly, after 38 years of marriage, I was living all alone (with my little cockapoo Lola) in a rented apartment in Port Perry.

Now, four years later, I have been told that I have to find new digs because my landlord is getting married and is inheriting four new heirs – for whom he needs my space.

While it was a shock, I feel confident that God has a plan and, just as He led me to this beautiful place, He has another home prepared for me. I just have to find where it is!

I have been looking for another apartment for the past month and am hitting nothing but dead ends. Everything is either too small or refuses pets. So – despite the fact that I’m just getting back on my feet financially after our enormous upheaval, I started to wonder whether God wants me to buy rather than rent. The only problem is that I have absolutely nothing for a down payment.

However, I have seen God work miracle after miracle in my life – and I don’t see why He would stop now. He has totally looked after me for the past four years while I went back to school, developed new skills and opened my new company, byDesign Media.

When I told my friend Moira that I was “pregnant” with a miracle, she said that I needed to write about it when it happens.

I decided to start writing now – before it happens, so that anyone who is interested can witness the anatomy of a miracle!

Here’s what has happened so far:

May 1 – I was told that I have to move by July 29th. I began the hunt for an apartment – word of mouth, newspapers, store bulletin boards…

Then Mike (the builder of my solarium) suggested that I look at the home he is renovating in Caesarea, because the owner might consider renting it. I investigated and loved the house. However, after about two weeks of indecision, the owner decided he couldn’t afford to rent and would have to sell.

So – the hunt started again. Everything was a dead end.

At this point, I thought maybe God was closing the doors because He wanted me to purchase instead of rent.

So I contacted a realtor to find out what was available. Kim Blakely (realtor) found the perfect little home for me – all the space I need, maintenance free (just 7 years old) small lot without too much upkeep – and it’s on the water!!! The desire of my heart!!

So – I decided that if I want to see a miracle, I have to open the door for God to show Himself to be God. I called a bank mortgage broker who checked my credit (all good) and laid out the realities of what I need – a $30,000. mortgage with about $10,000. more for closing fees, my move, etc.

$40,000.

Where will it come from? Will God make it possible for me to buy? It will take a miracle. Stay tuned for the step by step journey to a miracle!

My friend Jane has a ministry to the troops overseas, called “Team Red Take a Stand.” She designed a logo of a kneeling soldier and had hockey shirts made which she gets people to sign and send to the troops as evidence of their love, support and appreciation. I have been helping her by designing journals and notebooks for them, as well as postcards with photos of soldiers to send.
There have been amazing signs all along the way that God is directing this ministry. However, recently, Jane has become discouraged, wondering what her next step is to be. On March 20, she cried out to God and asked Him for a sign that she was to continue her work.
Little did she know that I had sent her postcards to the printer and had quantities of each, as well as a sample of the notebook, printed as a surprise for her birthday.
On March 21, we met at Coffee Cultures and I, with excitement, presented her with her gift. She was stunned and said, “I just asked God last night for a sign that I was to continue….”
It was awesome to realize that I had had those cards printed before Jane asked for a sign. God had prepared the answer – by design – so that it was ready as soon as she asked!
Isaiah 58:9 “…then you will call and the Lord will answer.”