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14) Child molesters – or potential molesters – may have a desire for hobbies that seem more appropriate for a child than for an adult, like building miniature trains, collecting toys or whatever.
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13) Potential or active child molesters may exhibit behavior that seems too good to be true, perhaps being overly helpful.
The process of grooming a child to be abused is a process of gaining the trust of both the child and the caregivers. It’s all about eliminating obstacles between the one about to be victimized and the perpetrator/predator. If that means being overly helpful, there’s no job too big or no inconvenience too annoying if it will give the predator more trust, more acceptance or more opportunity.
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2) For some reason, child molesters (or those fantasizing about molesting) may seem to have disrespect for social boundaries.
There seems to be a disconnect between normal societal expectations of appropriate behavior – and the inappropriate liberties taken by those drawn to abusing children.
Just because someone doesn’t fit the patterns of “normal” behavior doesn’t mean they’re abusing children. On the other hand, anything that seems like a warning light – could be.
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11) They may make reference to children in particularly exalted terms, such as “beautiful,” “adorable,” or other labels that are said in a way that seem excessive.
When healthy people comment on the appearance or attributes of children, it’s normally said in a casual way; but when someone with an unhealthy agenda says the same words, there can be an uncomfortable sense of undercurrent, where it feels as though the assessment is too important to the person.
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10) People who either fantasize about molesting children or have actually begun abusive behaviors may appear disconnected from normal peers. Their thought processes are not in sync with those of healthy people and so they often disconnect from normal associations.
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9) There may be a continuation of inappropriate association with children despite concerns expressed by others.
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8) While pedophiles most often have failed marriages because of their sexual preference, they often stay in the marriage to mask their true intentions.
The mate becomes a “front” for a respectable life. While they may indicate to the spouse that they simply have no interest in sex, the reality may be quite the opposite.
Predators Live Among Us – Book Launch
Spotting Potential Child Molesters
It’s pretty hard to protect our kids if we don’t know who the potential molesters might be. The problem is that predators wear masks made to look like trustworthy, safe people.
In the course of researching her book, Identifying Child Molesters, Dr. Carla van Dam interviewed over 300 molesters who exhibited similar types of behaviors in social situations. These similar behaviors provide us with a general pattern to watch for. If an individual exhibits enough of these behaviors to arouse concern, he needs to be considered too risky to allow unsupervised around our children.
Any suggested warning signs need to be viewed within the context of an individual’s life. For instance, if someone enjoys playing with children in the company of other adults, that’s normal. If someone is a particularly helpful person but doesn’t seek out the company of children, that’s a wonderful thing. However, if combinations of the warning signs are evident, there’s cause for concern and children need to be carefully watched around these people.
Predator-Proof Your Family – Series
Predator-Proof Your Family is a series of nine, 50-page booklets on issues surrounding child sexual-abuse.
#1 Why all the Fuss?
#2 Who is the Predator?
#3 Predator-Proofing our Children
#4 Predators in Pews & Pulpits
#5 The Porn Factor
#6 It’s all About the Brain
#7 When the Worst That Could Happen Has Already Happened
#8 Smart Justice
#9 The Husband I Never Knew
